How capable are you?
Capability is your ability to perform. This can be your ability to perform academically, socially, professionally, financially, physically and sexually. How capable you consider yourself to be depends on who you listen to. When you listen to anyone other than yourself you will define your capabilities based on someone else’s version of success, this is a dangerous slope as it relies on the other person having a high level of self-love and no tendency to be jealous of how awesome you really are (highly unlikely). Therefore, you must listen to yourself first, recognise what success means to you and use other’s comments to increase the validation you already provide yourself. When you do this, you increase the confidence in your abilities and improve your overall self-esteem. How do you get there? Start by being self- aware and taking action to enhance your current feelings towards your ability to perform in all areas of life. Read below for more information.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, the most important thing to remember is that we are all more capable than ‘just being’ what we were born with. Let me explain:
- You can study to enhance your intellectual capacity, memory and ability to transfer knowledge from one field to another therefore improving your academic, professional and financial performance. Your knowledge is not defined by your parents’ knowledge, their professional success and certainly not their financial success.
- You can train, practice and study movement to improve your physical and sexual performance (I’m not so sure you’ll call it training…I think you’d just call this fun!). Athletes have been proven to have the capacity to alter their genetic disposition by 10% through physical training
- You can study social cues, verbal and non-verbal gestures, confidence and relationships as well as practice your social skills by hosting events, speaking in public and volunteering to improve your social capability. Over time in a variety of social settings familiarity makes you more capable of confidence and self-love even if you don’t actively try to transform your life for good.
This means that while you might feel less capable of success in some areas of your life you always have a starting point and it is just that…the start. Let’s look at your start.
Scale your capability in the following areas (1 means almost completely incapable, 10 means ‘I’m totally awesome’) giving a reason why for each:
Add in where you would like your ratings to grow to. This is extremely important. People tend to keep working on the capabilities that are their strengths instead of improving their weaknesses. This means if an individual is confident in their ability to succeed professionally they may continue staying long hours at work, spending money on professional development when they do not need it as much as other areas of their life. Individuals tend to do this because it is COMFORTABLE but it reduces their ability to propel themselves forward in all areas of their life. Once you have completed this include some actions you will take to make your current rating get to this new score.
REMEMBER THIS: A HEALTHY LEVEL OF SELF- LOVE IS WHEN THESE CAPABILITIES HAVE A FAIRLY HIGH RATING (SAY AN 8); WHEN INDIVIDUALS ARE AWARE OF WHAT AREA OF THEIR LIFE THEY FEEL LESS CONFIDENT IN AND THEY MAKE POSITIVE CHANGE TO FEEL MORE CAPABLE.
Think about it:
Peggy always bakes, Peggy has baked for years but Peggy thinks she is only intelligent in the kitchen so she talks down to herself, all the time. How can Peggy be seen as a serious baker in the business world if she doesn’t take herself seriously? How can she expect a positive relationship if she talks to herself in a negative, love less manner? How can she expect someone to compliment her if she won’t compliment herself? It is EXACTLY the same for men. EXACTLY.
You must decide how much success you want to have in each area of your life, define it and chase it. Do not craft a life that would sit inside someone else’s narrative. Craft your own life.
Be confident and chase the goals you have defined for yourself. Ask questions of people that have achieved what you want to achieve. Show yourself how capable you are by having an attitude that doesn’t give up easily. Learn from your mistakes, find better ways to do things, challenge yourself to be the best version of yourself in every aspect of your life, reflect frequently and don’t allow anyone to define what you are truly capable of. Most of all- never waste your capabilities. Fear and comfort will encourage us to stay small, to stop evolving, to repeat the same patterns of generations before us, it is EASY to do. Decide whether you’ll simply fall into the same patterns of thinking, behaviour and success or whether you will be the different one, the one who changes the game. Once you make the decision, get to work.
If you would like to take some serious action to changing your reality, showing off your capabilities and building your talents then schedule a complimentary coaching call with me today to start the process.
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