Day 1 Walking down memory lane- Bitterness Bites
Day 1 of our memory wheel from the days A Written Revolution.
This piece, Bitterness Bites, was hugely popular and randomly saw brand new readers labelling me as a role model for women. I don't know how that came about, quite frankly it still makes me chuckle but I am pleased that it resonated with many people. Enjoy!
Is there a difference between independence, strength and bitterness? Here I discuss the problem that kills the female psyche.
Bitterness is acid to the soul. It destroys whoever carriers it and whomever it touches. Just like the acidity of a lemon bitterness harboured by women leaves a seriously horrendous taste in your mouth. It's apparent that it also leaves a sort of selective blindness in those who get trapped in its arms and struggle to escape its grasp. It's probably because bitterness has a sneaky ability for women to believe it is independence or strength instead and here is where it wins the game and relationships lose the war.
Have you ever noticed how many women are bitter? It's a problem that seems to predominantly face women as we conversationalise our lives where men otherwise would get on with it. Whilst men need to eradicate part of the silent participator mentality women need to bin the bitterness.
Since the beginning of time women have been exceptional conversationalists but not always for good. If you listen to conversations being had by the women around you, even those you don't know, we are all saying the same things, are behaving in the same manner, simply communicating it in different ways.
1. We love comparing ourselves to others. We rarely talk about those that inspire us, we consume our talk justifying our inner and outer beauty. Why? Every woman knows the outcome of a conversation about comparison. Every woman understands the mindset of the next and we all want the same thing so why compare? It simply robs us of our own beauty.
This leads me to point 2. What is more attractive: a woman who can argue or a woman who is happy and content? Not just with life either, with themselves inside and out without the constant external input of others?
2. We love a good whinge and nag. Our partners are driven mad by our archaic way to communicate what we really feel. We practice whinging and nagging for fun, almost as if we'd lose out on womanhood if we didn't ditch this ugly habit. Why?
3. I am angry because I can be and you should know why. Come on ladies this is ridiculous! Have an emotional reason now or stop! Now! No one is a mind reader and they aren't about to spend 4 hours trying to guess the issue, so if you won't communicate then your emotions mustn't mean much or it's just anger for the hell of it. Enough.
4. Just as Annie said 'A woman is never fully dressed without a smile.' I'd like to add that a woman is never fully prepared for life without a smiling attitude. We could compare, whinge and be angry all we like ladies but here's the facts: everyone has the same amount of hours in the day, everyone has awful things happen to them and they are their personal hurts, they cannot be compared, counted as insignificant or more significant as any others. We all experience good after a fall, some of us simply choose not to see it. Stop being angry for anger's sake. You are robbing yourself of your own energy and you are taking your negative attitude out on others. You have a choice. Look back on your life as a sour, bitter person or appreciate that you are beautiful and have one life to live and live it.
This post is for those I regularly hear in public spaces, see ranting on social media, who use social media negatively, for those who 'hate life and people'. You are beautiful. Choose to live HAPPY. Stop your pity party, there's too much life out there. Live it. Bitter free.
Till next time...